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So here I am,
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elsa - word, story, image idea music person
How to do this?

A big question - how to do this?elsa - word, story, image idea music person
I know it can be done, but

I can do this,elsa - word, story, image idea music person
but it takes a lot of doing.

It's easiest in the morning. elsa - word, story, image idea music person
Everything seems possible then.

 

What do you see when
you see me, I wonder.elsa - word, story, image idea music person
I keep trying. I'm not sure
what will happen. But over
and over again, I keep
trying - because something
in me doesn't give up, not
forever anyway.

 


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elsa - word, story, image idea music person

elsa - word, story, image idea music person

elsa - word, story, image idea music person

elsa - word, story, image idea music person

elsa - word, story, image idea music person


 







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Ups and downs. Hopes and actions and setbacks.
The making of a creative site with song, spoken word, story, music, ideas.
Ongoing work to make things happen. And then, despair.
Creativity Blogs, Writer Blogs.

JULY 24, 2006

ILLUSIONS OF PROGRESS - AND THEN THE REALITY,
I'VE GONE NOWHERE

It's hard. Yesterday evening the first of the Fluffers Book got listed on MSN - the number - over 30 - and when I checked, it wasn't there even though I got all the way to page 37. And loads of other pages were after that.

 

So I have worked today.

 

But the well feels dry.

 

I have in fact worked very hard.

 

I have put other keywords in for Caro's Quest.

But I am discouraged.

How do I ever reach other people? How do others ever get to know of Caro's Quest, and of all the things I have done.

 

Step by step, I tell myself.

Don't give up.

Don't let go.

Don't this and don't that.

I think of the first word piece I ever wrote.

It's called Almost and it's about almost giving up.

I didn't give up.

But sometimes I get very discouraged.

My father's curse - his and mine - the quest for the elusive audience.

I can blame myself. I also know the world is clogged with creative people looking for a place for their creativity.

I am determined to be one of the people who gets heard.

I am not 18.

Lots of water under the bridge.

Still, very discouraged today.

Who will help me, i used to go. I am trying to help myself.

 

I think that I will link here to Almost - which means of course putting Almost on the web, as its one of hundred of pieces that is still only on my computer, on a few pieces of paper.

 

Lots of hopes for that one, at the start. I wrote it for a friend who was thinking of a teen program - troubled teens struggling. And with that faintest of faint glimmers of the possibility of someone hearing my stuff, I "hear" almost, line by line. I think I remember where it started. In the tub - the words coming. And so I wrote it.

 

The show never happened. The word piece continued to exist. But did not find a home in the world.

Here. it is.So much has happened,so amazingly much - the site has been gone over and over, with bits of fine-tuning done page after page, so many thousands of details checked into.

Masses of work - but not the big sweeping work of thinking up the general design, but the work of trying to make sure that a page has the best possible chance of looking good to whoever looks at it, and has the best possible chance of being looked at.

In many ways it's the begriming of a very long haul, from the first getting the toes wet to being deep in the ocean of the web - swimming hopefully, not caught in an undertow.

So work has also been done on keywords, checking that the pages do what the web wants, so they will be seen. Someone has said this is doing tricks. I have thought about this a lot. And I think of people studying for tests memorizing dates they will never need again, doing their best for scores that will give them a better chance of getting into a university, getting a scholarship. I think of birds singing - all to up their chances of getting the mate they want.

Well, I see what I am doing in the same light - I see there is a tunnel and light at the end of it. I am trying to get to that light as quickly as possible, hurting no one on the way. This isn't about knocking anyone down or out, as in war games. It is about doing one's best.

I think of Olympic champs, of people who perform better than most others. Effort and learning.

It doesn't mean always conforming. I have been dreadful at following rules.

I think of cellist Jacqueline Dupre - recognized the world over though her playing style was totally unconventional.

Anyway, I am going off on all kinds of tangents.

But central is ... I have been giving things my best shot, trying to make sure I help this project as much as possible, not let it down when I could possible do something to give it a better chance.

 

But I haven't written at all in this blog. No inner urge to tell of all I'm doing. Even now I'm writing because I've just gone over the entries, have done little things in the display, and at the end have decided it's time for a hello, an update.

Things are going well - but always much more slowly than I'd like.

I wanted to get going on the next area - The Idea Emporium - three weeks ago when I came home.

I am just about there - and it's hard because there are all kinds of versions of the opening page (2 mainly) and so instead of just forging ahead, setting something up, I am looking at what has been done. How will that be incorporated? What will be used and what left behind?

I will see.

Now I am going onto the web, first to upload a whole slew of slightly revised pages, and then to submit (hate that word, connotations of submission, being submissive) another page to MSN (right now, they're taking sites one page per day), and also to submit the full site as it stands to Yahoo and Google. I've waited with Yahoo and Google until now - not like with my first site (this is just the second) because I found the thought of doing it too challenging, threatening, frightening, mind-boggling - but because I wanted the site to be good enough, by my own standards. Today it is.

And then it will be time to tackle The Idea Emporium. Quite a different direction. Somehow or other I am leaving Zee's Cafe Cafe almost until the end of my projects. My guess: once I get started, it will be so big it will be a while before I emerge for anything else. Maybe not, of course. We will see.

 

I am seeing myself looking outward at me from the page. She is wondering. I am wondering. She had just taken a short break from doing. For me, this is both doing (writing the blog) and taking a break from doing (from doing all the work on the site that is needed to bring it out into the world). This writing in fact doesn't feel like work.

Does the other stuff feel like work? It involves loads of mundane details, and also masses of learning. It feels good to be getting the stuff done.

As always, welcome into my world.

Elsa
creating, connecting, exchanging -
or anyway, trying to

JULY 24, 2006

copyright © Elsa Schieder 2006, 2011
publishing house - FlufferDuff Impressions 2006, 2011

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Elsas Creativity Blogs, Writer Blogs.
Creativity dilemmas. Illusions of progress,
and then hard realities. Creative setbacks.
No proof of completion. What is success?
Creativity Blogs. Big questions.

For another blog on creativity -
being bored by everyday pleasures
but loving creativity -
click here
.

For still more blog on creativity -
on pure vs aplied creativity -
click here
.

For all of Elsa's creativity blogs,
click here
.

 

Elsa's Creativity Blog
Writer blogs, poetry blogs, musical blogs.
How do I get my works out into the world?
Steps, stages, successes, failures.
Creativity. Not easy to find a home for it.

 

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****

For those of you wondering, just what are Elsa's creativity blogs about?


elsas creativity blogs
         elsas writer blogs
                  elsas creativity blogs
                           are blogs by elsa
                                    on creative endeavors
                           about elsa's trying
                               once more vying
                                  to reach the world
                                       let words unfurl
                                       let them rumble
                                       let them blog into the sunset
                                            over the hill
                                            down the dale
                                            up the mountain
                                            down the vale


elsas creativity blogs
are not the same as elsas creativity logs - a jotting down of events, of time spent

writer blogs, poetry blogs, musical blogs
choice blogs, find my voice blogs
obscure blogs, creativity for sure blogs

image blog, literature blog, blog arts
artists blog, writing blogs, inviting blogs

elsas creativity blogs, creativity blogs, creativity blogs
are not a hop and stop
     tip top mop shop pop drop
elsas creativity blogs
     are writer blogs, musical blogs, spoken word blogs
     are elsas creativity blogs

but what are elsas creativity blogs?

elsas creativity blogs, creativity blogs, creativity blogs
     are stop and start
          on and off
       trying
       doing
       ever renewing
                    writer blogs, web making blogs, musical blogs
                    spoken word blogs, inviting blogs, writing blogs
     are not a dog
                 log
                 fog
                 smog
                 groggy old nodding off creativity blob
     are a wide awake
         revving up
         ever making up stuff
                 writer blogs, inviting blogs, elsas creativity blogs

elsas creativity blogs -
     a short stop to bring you along
                           as I'm making up the site
                           feeling my way
                           like a jungle explorer
                           creepers and crawlers every which way
                           how to get through the day?
                           I couldn't say

but I could write - writer blogs, blog journals, inviting
those are elsas creativity blogs

where does it come from?
where does it go?
elsas creativity blog doesn't know

it records the words elsa writes
it stays the course
it blogs all night
it's delighted to be blogging
         leap frogging
                  over words
                  over muddles
                  over huddles
                           of word lugging trouble
                  over word puddles
                  and into word puddles

elsas creativity blogs
         writer blogs, spoken word blogs
                  poetry blogs, musical blogs
                      blogs by elsa
                            on creative endeavors
                       elsa's trying
                            once more vying
                                   to reach the world
                                        let words unfurl
                                        let them rumble
                                        let them blog into the sunset
                                              over the hill
                                              down the dale
                                              up the mountain
                                              down the vale
              elsas creativity blog
                       is a faithful old horse
                                 that won't stop
                         it blop blop blogs
                                 a faithful old horse
                                     stopping now and then in its course
                                          to chew its cud
                                              letting ideas bud
                                     and then blogging alone
                                          blogging along
                                              clip clop blip blop

                         elsas creativity blogs, writer blogs, writer blogs
                             elsas creativity blog, writer blogs
                                      elsas creativity blog



              elsas creativity blog
                       is a faithful old horse
                                 that won't stop
                         it blop blop blogs
                                 a faithful old horse
                                     stopping now and then in its course
                                          to chew its cud
                                              letting ideas bud
                                     and then blogging alone
                                          blogging along
                                              clip clop blip blop

                    elsas writer blogs
                    elsas blogging words, writer blogs

               elsas creativity blog
                      is a faithful old horse
                              that won't stop
                      it blop blop blogs
                              a faithful old horse
                                  stopping now and then in its course
                                       to chew its cud
                                          letting ideas bud
                                   and then blogging alone
                                      blogging along
                                         clip clop blip blop

            elsas writers blogs
                  elsas poetry blogs
                       elsas blogging words

                                      blogging along
                                         clip clop blip blop

            elsas creativity blogs
                  elsas diary blogs
                       elsas creativity blogs


                                                                                    
 Elsa Schieder
                                                                                      July 9, 2006
                                                                                      © Elsa Schieder, 2006

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