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So here I am,
looking out, wondering.
elsa - word, story, image idea music person
How to do this?

A big question - how to do this?elsa - word, story, image idea music person
I know it can be done, but

I can do this,elsa - word, story, image idea music person
but it takes a lot of doing.

It's easiest in the morning. elsa - word, story, image idea music person
Everything seems possible then.

 

What do you see when
you see me, I wonder.elsa - word, story, image idea music person
I keep trying. I'm not sure
what will happen. But over
and over again, I keep
trying - because something
in me doesn't give up, not
forever anyway.

 


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elsa - word, story, image idea music person

elsa - word, story, image idea music person

elsa - word, story, image idea music person

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Elsa's Creativity Blog explores: creative stuck points, creative blocks,
writer's blocks, and ways of getting unstuck. Input, invitation,
deadline and decision. How to get moving? Not easy. A yes helps.

JUNE 18, 2007

FROZEN AT STUCK POINTS
- LIKE BEING STUCK IN ICE
DEEPER THAN AT THE NORTH POLE

I've just been going over old drafts of openings for Zee's Cafe Cafe, and for In My Own, My Chosen Home.

So much was done. Then I got stuck.

Not always at the same place. I created a full sample for a virtual week at Zee's Cafe Cafe. That was 6 years ago. I got stuck when it didn't get funding, and i didn't have the drive to keep going.

Then I created more sample openings, more bits and pieces. Lots of stuck points. Which is best? Which is right? Especially when I like more than one, which should be used?

I remember that glued-stuck feeling from childhood, from rewriting scripts and stories at twelve, fourteen, sixteen.

It's been with me all my adulthood. It's easiest on a rough draft. I just write and write. It's also easiest on songs, spoken word. They flow out, and I very rarely edit.

But I remember thousands of stucknesses - on creative pieces, on idea pieces, on just about everything.

It's like being a child, a very young child wanting a mother's hand to cross the street - but there's no hand there, no sense of safety, security. Frozen with fear and indecision. I can stay stuck forever.

So for now I've put the pieces away.

Tomorrow I want to go back - tomorrow and the next day and the next - to tackle the pieces one at a time.

****

What has helped? Input, invitation, deadline, decision.

Input. A friend whose input I somehow resonate with - all of a sudden I'm moving. Or even someone whose input I recoil from - once again, I come to my own inner sense of what I want.

Invitation. A yes to the beginning of something. There's nothing quite like having someone say they like something, want more. I finished writing Caro's Quest because a publisher liked the part I submitted. I wrote the start of what became my doctoral thesis when someone said yes to something I wanted to speak about. This is so powerful for me - the invitation, the yes. I thrive on a yes. I go further and further.

A deadline. With a deadline, I decide even though I may have no sense if the decision is the right one.

A decision - the decision to try to move. This has sometimes been the least effective way of getting moving. I remember being stuck, day after day, trying to find a way to decide. One draft. Another draft. Still another. I was frozen in place, even though I kept trying and trying to find my way out. No movement. I needed a helping hand.

Sometimes deciding does work, though. On this site, I have made so many decisions - and have also often stopped trying to get something right. Okay, this will do.

On this site, I have also had input, over and over, sometimes freely given, sometimes given because I insisted. I need this, my inside voice would go, pushing me for input - I need this, or I will never move.

****

It's not just indecision that gets me stuck.

Other stuck points. Sometimes I lack the knowhow to go further. Today, going over old Flash files (Flash - web program), I was exhausted before starting. There's a lot I don't know about Flash. And there's a lot I didn't know, when I did what I did. At some point I bogged down, over and over.

I can remember this stuck point vividly just as vividly as the indecision stuck point. I wrote a film script as a child - I was twelve, childhood's end. No one in my neighborhood had a film camera. Even if they had had, I couldn't have gone far. This was in the time of 8-mm cameras - everything would have cost. Plus what would I have done with the film? Editing 8-mm (and super-8 and 16mm) is not the easiest thing, as I found out later, when I took some film courses at university.

So at twelve I had a film script in hand - and nowhere to go with it. I made a neat copy, sewed a cloth bag that neatly fitted, stitched the title of the film onto it. All those were things I could do.

But I couldn't bring the film any further. So the bag I stitched was in some ways like a coffin - the film script was dead, would not be given life. Unlike a corpse, the script did not rot. It just stayed - something I ardently wanted to bring to life, dreamed about bringing to life for years.

****

At university I got stuck at a later point. What do I do with the product? Where do I bring it? How do I get to an audience?

Part of this kind of being stuck came - and continues to come - from fear. I've so often been afraid of bringing work into the world - submitting it to a magazine, whatever.

Part of it comes from just not knowing how to get the work out - it isn't easy to get a creative work into the world. I have sent work out. Hard to keep sending when there are only rejections, or anyway, very few acceptances.

Recently the web has made easier to get work out - though it's still not easy getting the work noticed.

****

This creativity emporium is my latest attempt at getting unstuck. A million decisions. And a million attempts to reach out. Lots of asking for help, finding help, to get me past stuck points.

And with that,

As always, welcome into my world.

signed,

Elsa

JUNE 18 , 2007

copyright © Elsa Schieder 2007
publishing house - FlufferDuff Impressions 2007

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Next - June 22, 2007

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- Elsa's creativity blog -

Elsas Creativity Blog explores:
creative stuck points, creative blocks, writers blocks,
and ways of getting unstuck.
Input, invitation, deadline and decision.
How to get moving? Not easy. A yes helps.

To go from Elsas creativity blog to Caro's Quest, click here.

To go to a taste of White Chocolate and Hot Fudge Sauce, click here.

To go from Elsas creativity blog to the home page, click here.

To go to the overview, click here.

For a complete listing of Elsa's creativity blogs, click here.

Elsa's Creativity Blog
Writer blogs, poetry blogs, musical blogs.
How do I get my works out into the world?
Steps, stages, successes, failures.
Creativity. Not easy to find a home for it.

 

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****

For those of you wondering, just what is Elsa's creativity blog about?


elsas creativity blog
is not the same as elsas creativity log - a jotting down of events, of time spent

elsas creativity blog
is not a hop and stop
     tip top mop shop pop drop
elsas creativity blog
     is elsas creativity blog
     is elsas creativity blog

but what is elsas creativity blog?

elsas creativity blog
     is stop and start
          on and off
       trying
       doing
       ever renewing
                    elsas creativity blog
                    elsas creativity blog
     is not a dog
                 log
                 fog
                 smog
                 groggy old nodding off creativity blob
     is a wide awake
         revving up
         ever making up stuff
                 elsas creativity blog

elsas creativity blog -
     a short stop to bring you along
                           as I'm making up the site
                           feeling my way
                           like a jungle explorer
                           creepers and crawlers every which way
                           how to get through the day?
                           I couldn't say
that's elsas creativity blog

where does it come from?
where des it go?
elsas creativity blog doesn't know

it records the words elsa writes
it stays the course
it blogs all night
it's delighted to be blogging
         leap frogging
                  over words
                  over muddles
                  over huddles
                           of word lugging trouble
                  over word puddles
                  and into word puddles

elsas creativity blog
         elsas creativity blog
                  elsas creativity blog
                      is a blog by elsa
                            on creative endeavors
                      is elsa's trying
                            once more vying
                                   to reach the world
                                        let words unfurl
                                        let them rumble
                                        let them blog into the sunset
                                              over the hill
                                              down the dale
                                              up the mountain
                                              down the vale
              elsas creativity blog
                       is a faithful old horse
                                 that won't stop
                         it blop blop blogs
                                 a faithful old horse
                                     stopping now and then in its course
                                          to chew its cud
                                              letting ideas bud
                                     and then blogging alone
                                          blogging along
                                              clip clop blip blop

                         elsas creativity blog
                             elsas creativity blog
                                      elsas creativity blog



                                                                                    
 Elsa Schieder
                                                                                      July 9, 2006
                                                                                      © Elsa Schieder, 2006

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