Erwin Schieder -
Sehnsucht - Longing
in English LONGING
Homesick for Home
WO MEIN ZUHAUSE IST
DU UND DEINE HEIMAT
Aching for Home
My Father's Words
MY FATHER'S WORLDS
MY FATHER'S WORDS
my father's worlds
my fathers words
my father's words
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My Father's Words, My Father's Worlds
LAUNCH DATE - December 25, 2008
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All his life, my father loved to read. Anything.
He also loved to write - poems, stories.
Serious pieces. Funny pieces.
Most powerful, for me, were autobiographical pieces on his childhood.
And yet they were not purely autobiobraphical.
What happened, he asked me about one of the pieces -
what was real and what did I make up?
I had thought it was all true. It wasn't. But it all felt true.
He had the storyteller's gift. He could make it all feel true -
because it was emotionally true.
He lived intensely, deeply -
and he was able to convey his emotional reality.
He was unable to edit.
He was also unable to even try to get out into the world.
A friend tried to organize a poetry reading.
My father wasn't ready, according to himself.
He would have liked me to organize his writings,
be his editor and publisher.
But I have been too busy in my own life,
in my own striving to make it into the world,
and just to create my own works.
Yet I do want to bring his pieces into the world.
One of his experiences made it into my doctoral thesis.
Not his writing.
But the experience as I remembered it
from his telling it.
Some of his writings are lost, at least as far as I can make out.
He went through stuff toward the end of his life,
and told me he threw out lots of folders.
His old computer also crashed,
but my sister had taken everything from it
just a few days before.
She had felt compelled to do this.
But he lost things in other ways as well -
especially in misguided attempts to get things into the world.
Without making sure he kept a copy for himself,
he gave parts to people to read -
and things got thrown out or otherwise lost.
Yet on the other hand, he valued his poems so highly
that he feared their being stolen -
and had stamps put on then and cancelled at the post office -
as proof that the work was his,
or anyway that he had a copy on such and such a day.
My sister said one could not read some of the poems,
they were so stamped.
Anyway, I am now hard at work with this site -
and he is part of it,
though I haven't gotten to his works yet.
But there are also still masses and masses of my own works
which have not been looked at.
So much need for time,
and more time,
and still more time to get things done.
Right now, none of his works in one this site.
He is a key figure in a couple of pieces of my writing.
In My Own, My Chosen Home -
an exploration of what it means to be at home -
I wrote portions in the days right after his death,
including on my sense that he never felt fully at home.
My Father's Words, My Father's Worlds -
a word piece I wrote a few years before his death.
The next goal - at least a couple of samples of his works
are to be among the first to go onto The Creativity Emporium.
August 7, 2007
LAUNCH DATE - OCTOBER 1, 2007
SNEAK PREVIEW - SEPTEMBER 7, 2007
My fathers words, my fathers worlds.
Just like me, my father loved reading, writing,
creativity, imagination, thinking.
My father read my books when I went to university.
My father, my self.
word story image idea music emporium,
an all-round creativity space
My fathers words - he loved to talk.
My fathers worlds - worlds so different from mine -
so much love and fear and hunger,
war bombings hunger,
near death and again near death.
My fathers words - I see him in my mind,
eyes bright, alive in his talking,
eyes bright, emotions coming, tears close.
My fathers words, my fathers worlds.My father, my self.
His love of words, of story, imagination, creativity.
My living as well in those worlds.
My fathers words, my fathers worlds.
Maybe here my fathers words will find a home.
© copyright, Elsa Schieder, 2007, all rights reserved
go from My Fathers Words to My Chosen Home, click here.
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