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Problem: How to Propose First? Afraid ...

by dsp
(India)

Hi...I'm 32, male, and I'm in love with a girl since the last 10 years. She got married before the 10 years so ... After her marriage I fell in love with her. Though I know she's also in love with me and talks in a good manner with me, but I don't know how to propose to her first. I fear that if I will propose to her, she will never talk to me again, even though I know my fear is useless.

But I can't live without her. Please help me. How to propose to her?

****

Hello, you are in a difficult situation, loving someone who also loves you, but has been married for 10 years. It seems you want to risk losing the friendship you have because you want to take a chance to have what you truly want: marriage with her.

How could you start? Do you know if she is unhappy in her marriage? Do you know if she ever imagines being divorced?

If she is happily married or would never consider divorce, that would mean proposing is unlikely to get you anything.

On the other hand, if she is unhappy and would like to be divorced, you could - instead of immediately proposing - say something like:

"If ever you were free, you are exactly the woman I would want to be married to." In other words, you could make it clear that, if she were divorced, you would want to marry her.

That way, it seems she could openly know you would like to be married to her, without your risking having her stop talking to you because you have proposed. Also, if she liked what you said, it would be much easier for you to propose and even make plans together.

Note: right now, you both have something to lose. You are afraid you would lose her talking to you. If she accepts your proposal, she also has much difficulty to face: divorce, and what if things do not work out with you?

All the best in finding lifelong love,

Elsa

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