Elsas Writer Blogs explore Fantasy Time. The Dream of the Big Audience. Creativity blog on: Responding to Rejection. What keeps writers, musicians, etc going?
 
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Fantasy Time - The Dream of the Big Audience. An exploration
of what keeps creative people – writers, musicians, etc – going.
No publisher. No band. No grant. Rejection. And we continue.
Writer Blogs, Creativity Blog.

SEPTEMBER 3, 2006

FANTASY TIME - THE DREAM OF THE BIG AUDIENCE

I have been working on a couple of idea pieces, and then a couple of blogs, all day long. I have worked on tiny details, made minor adjustments here or there. Just one improvement more. And just one more improvement. Add this link. Add that. Delete that reference. Make the reference clearer.

What is the fantasy that keeps me going?

Because if it were just for me, none of this would matter.

I know the fantasy - it's the dream of the big audience.

I don't gamble - for me, it's a waste of whatever money one puts into it.

But I am held by this other fantasy - that there will be an audience out there. Over and over in my life, it hasn't worked out.

I am grateful for my teaching - because there I do reach students.

But this site is the latest effort to make the fantasy real. Each time I hope that this time, I have it right, that this time I will get to be an insider. This time, a publisher will pick up a book - like two publishers almost picked up The Fluffers Book This time, I will get a grant from Canada Council, the big arts funding agency in Canada. But I haven't gotten even one grant from them, though long ago I did get one big grant (an Opportunities for Youth grant - half of what I asked for), which gave me more experience getting a major creative project together than anything else. That one grant didn't get me all the way - to an audience. I could not even complete that project (half the funding couldn't be stretched to go all the way).

And still I am trying.

How important is the fantasy, the belief, the hope?

I don't know what I would do without it.

I know that I am less fearful than ever before.

I know I don't keep trying.

And this isn't bad, what I have pulled together since I started working on the site a bit over 3 months ago - you can see update #2 for all that is up.

So powerful, this hope, belief, fantasy - the same thing that drives a gambler to keep on going, the researcher to keep on looking, the explorer lost in the arctic wastes to keep on and on and on instead of giving up. Strange the mix - the dangerous addiction and the route to survival and success.

Anyway, I am not giving up. That I know. Because for one thing, I cannot believe it is only a fantasy that there will be an audience. I believe there is a hope, a possibility, a chance that I will get where I long to be - to be heard by enough people to feel satisfaction.

I also know I have probably said something very similar earlier, when I was just starting to put the site on the web. Right now, all these thoughts are sweeping through me again.

As always, welcome into my world.

Elsa
creating, connecting, exchanging -
or anyway, trying to

SEPTEMBER 3, 2006

copyright © Elsa Schieder 2006, 2011
publishing house - FlufferDuff Impressions 2006, 2011

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- Elsa's creativity blog -

Elsas Writer Blogs explore
Fantasy Time. The Dream of the Big Audience.
Creativity blog on: Responding to Rejection.
What keeps writers,  musicians, etc going?
Hopes. Dreams. Trying.

To go to more writer blogs, click here.

To go to poetry blogs, click here.

For a complete listing of Elsa's creativity blogs, click here.

And now (February 2011),
Love Poems for You
,
a collection of 22 love poems,
plus a writer blog on
the totally unexpected flow
of love poetry
creativity explored


Elsa's Creativity Blog
Writer blogs, poetry blogs, musical blogs.
How do I get my works out into the world?
Steps, stages, successes, failures.
Creativity. Not easy to find a home for it.

 

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****

For those of you wondering, just what are Elsa's writer blogs about?

elsas writer blogs
      elsas creativity blogs
             are blogs by elsa

that much is for sure
but for the content
writer blogs are, well, writer blogs

blogs on this writer writing, trying to reach
wondering what keeps me going
exploring what keeps the drive alive
         the drive to write and to reach
when it's not easy
rejection
responding to rejection
dealing with rejection
getting over rejection

writer blogs, creativity blog, musical blogs
on creative dreams, creativity and rejection
on fantasy, the carrot at the end of the stick
fantasy - that feeds
fantasy - hope is another word
fantasy - how to reach the fantasy

writer blogs, creativity blog, musical blogs
on creative dreams, creativity and rejection
on the fantasy of the big audience
on the dream of being heard
on the hope, the goal
on the struggles and trying to reach
                  to reach
                      to reach

despite rejection
responding to rejection
by not giving up
responding to rejection
by looking for a better way

so, writer blogs, creativity blog
        writings inviting
             you to come along
                  to come along on this journey
                  to travel along
                  maybe to feed your own home
                              your own dreams

writer blogs
part of my nourishing myself
part of my journey

writer blogs
where I can tell you
I am reaching
not yet the big audience
but more and more

wish me luck and perseverance
wish me to keep going, keep learning
wish me what I need
and I send my best wishes

so that writer blogs
blogs by elsa on creative struggles

            elsas writers blogs
                  elsas poetry blogs
                       elsas blogging words

            elsas writers blogs
                  creativity blog
                       ever creating, ever renewing


Elsa
August 14, 2008
copyright © Elsa Schieder, 2008 - all rights reserved

For a much more complete poem introduction to the blogs,
click here - you'll find the complete listing of blogs
and below it, Elsas Creativity Blog - The Poem
.

 


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