contents - all
on being at home -
a reflection
thoughts
and
word pieces -
in my own,
my chosen home
ON BEING AT HOME -
IMPRESSIONS
Home? Anywhere, as long as it's with my family.
Anywhere, except with my parents.
On the hockey rink with my team.
In my bedroom when it's raining, listening to the rain
on the roof.
I hear songs I haven't heard for decades, songs my parents
played, and I'm back with them.
Home? The smell of eggs frying in the morning.
Snow, the first snow of the season.
Darkness by the water.
Being with friends, that's what feels like home to me – just
hanging out.
When do I feel at home? Alone – only when I'm alone.
Nothing has ever felt as much home as my first home – we
lived there until my father died
Coming home, for me, was falling in love.
I walk into my office, and it's like a second family -
often better than my family.
I have got to have a wide open view.
Nestled, with pine trees all around. A small house, small
rooms.
It’s a small white attic room. As a child, it was
my last bedroom. Now I paint in it. But even more, home is the river I
grew up beside.
My back yard. Best time of all: late summer, early evening.
I’ve loved this province all my life – that's
been kind of a home to me – but I never had a true home of my own.
I was kind of a nomad. I never saw myself – me, myself – having
a real home. Now. at almost sixty, this is the first time in my life.
It keeps changing. You know, you get married, you get divorced.
Everything changes. And then changes again.
Home, for me, is anywhere, anywhere in the world where
I can feel good – which is just about anywhere.
In my own
my chosen home
on a high plateau
all alone
yet cozy
a nest
and large
inviting in each day
I’ve come to rest
Elsa
endlich
ewig
zusammen
finally
forever
together
my
father,
Erwin Schieder
These are the central words of a piece I wrote while sitting
with my father on the day of his death, after his death. It's the old dream
of heaven (without clouds and wings and angel's things). Or maybe, even
more, it's the equally old dream of heaven on earth. I think it was my
father's deepest longing, to have a happy loving forever togetherness,
a true home of the heart, but he didn't quite know how to make it real.
contact
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ON BEING AT HOME – A
REFLECTION
At some point, if we’re lucky, we
know we're at home. We choose to stay where' we were born – that's
where we know we want to be. Or we move and settle elsewhere, sometimes
in the same area, sometimes in a far-off part of the world – and
find that's right for us. Sometimes we do the choosing. Sometimes
we know when we've come to the right spot – it's as if our home
space has been waiting for us. If we're very lucky, we feel at home in
many places, any place we happen to find ourselves.
Home
may be ever-changing.
And
what feels right at one time may not at another.
Some
people never find what feels like home.
But what does it mean: home, a chosen home, being at
home, not being at home? more
Elsa
May 1, 2004
copyright © Elsa Schieder 2006
publishing house - FlufferDuff Impressions 2006

All around are the
places we live in.
But what does it mean, to be at home?
My father never felt at home.
In my own, my chosen home -
explorations, reflections, word pieces
on the sense of home.
contact your
thoughts what
home means to you

To go to the word
piece - in my own, my chosen home - click here.
It came to me as my own chosen home was starting to come together.
To go home - meaning to the opening page of this site - clilck
here.
To go to the creativity blog, click
here.
There's a lot on the development of elsas word story image idea music emporium,
which is both a chosen home and a home I have built myself.
top of page
****

In My Own, My Chosen Home -
thoughts on the meaning of chosen home
Just what does it mean - chosen home?
To what extent do we choose our home, and to what extent is our response
to certain places built into us? I remember loving the low rolling hills
east of Calgary years and years ago - I felt good there. Now I live on
a high plateau, a wide open space with a view over miles and miles of
fields and forests. Right now the trees are changing color, much like
when I wrote the word piece that became the spark for this project -
in my own, my chosen home. The view is not so different from the fields
east of Calgary. It feels to me as if there is something about wide open
spaces, yet with rolling hills, that evokes a feeling of home in me -
chosen home.
I didn't choose where I was born - Vienna
a few years after the end of the second world war. My parents were lucky
to have a tiny home of their own - one small room all to themselves,
with their own entrance to the world. The toilet was down the hall -
it was for all the apartments (if apartments isn't too fancy a word for
where they lived). But a home of their own - that was something for a
young couple in postwar Vienna.
But did my sense of home start there -
apparently there was a huge window, bringing in way too much heat in
summer, but also loads of light, something I have often loved.
Chosen home - I think this name came to
me also because I'm the child of immigrants. To some extent they chose
to leave - with dreams of a promised land, a land flowing with adventure,
like in the Westerns my father had loved since early childhood, and a
land flowing with opportunities, as shown in the films my mother saw
at the Canadian consulate. Eacgh of my parents chose to leave, lured
by different possibilities, stirred by different dreams, hopes, fears.
Yet for neither of them did Canada truly deeply become home - in some
ways, one cannot choose to be at home. This was not, deep inside, their
chosen home. My father had burned all bridges to a flourishing buisness
- he would have had a hard time choosing to go back home, he would have
had an emornously difficult time acknowledging that deep inside he longed
for another home, did not feel fully at home.
I have chosen to stay. This is a choice
- because in my generation masses of English-speaking people chose to
leave, chose to make their home elsewhere where English was welcome,
where there was no separatist movement.
To what extent, actually, is this my chosen
home - and to what extent did I just never make the choice to leave?
Did I really choose to stay, that is?
Now my partner and I are rooted in our
home - our personal home. Our chosen home is also the closest large city
- which was where we lived, home, for decades. To some extent Montreal
will always feel like home. Out here in the country is my personal home
space. But the city is home in another way - the stores, the streets,
the parks, the restaurants, the people, downtown - and my work.
There is so much more on chosen home,
but this is the beginning. In my own, my chosen home - thoughts, reflections,
word pieces, music. My chosen home, and the chosen homes of many others.
Elsa
October 1, 2006
copyright © Elsa Schieder 2006
publishing house - FlufferDuff Impressions 2006
contact your
thoughts what
home means to you
top of page
______________________________
home place, chosen
home, home space, forever at home,
home is where the heart is, homeward bound, chosen home, my chosen home,
chosen home, no matter how humble there's no place like home, chosen home,
home home on the range where the deer and the antelope play, chosen home,
home - where my heart is waiting silently for me, falling into place,
outward bound, homeward bound, chosen home, o give me a home,
hearth, heartland, home cooking, home baking, home fries, chosen home,
home schooling, chosen home, home fooling, home and garden,
family, street, neighborhood, chosen home, countryside, familiar sights and sounds,
safety, security, comfort, a roof over my head, a place to put my bags down,
a place to call my own,
the world is my home, the world is my oyster, born with a silver spoon in her
mouth,
not a dime to her name, without two nickels to rub together, poor but happy,
half starved to death,
homeless, roofless, rootless, uprooted, hungry, wretched, restless, wanderlust,
leaving home,
wretched like a homeless child, the wretched of the earth, not a crust of bread,
just the shirt on his back,
o give me a home, homing instinct, homey, homelike, home, chosen home,
my home my native land, homeland, mother tongue, father land, deep rooted,
chosen home, home place, homestead, homesteading, home ties,
chosen home, highrise, condo, apartment, house, split level, farm, barn, caravan,
farmyard, vegetable garden, flower beds, homeless animals, shelter, sheltering,
the sheltering sky, the sweltering sky, the far north, wide open spaces,
chosen home, the seasons, the world is my home, my home is the world, at home
in,
at home in words, at home in ideas, at home among people, forever at home, never
at home,
homeless and friendless, not a friend in the world, a friend in need is a friend
indeed,
the luxury of choice, not feeling a home, out of place, o give me a home, my chosen home
______________________________
site design, site construction
- Elsa Schieder
copyright © Elsa Schieder, 2006 - all rights reserved
copyright © elsas-word-story-image-idea-music-emporium.com,
2006-2007 - all rights reserved
an all round creative space, creativity emporium and creativity
match space
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