Confused in Love and Attraction

by SIDD
(INDIA)

My age is 18. I love a girl. We share everything. We talk very much. Recently I proposed to her. She rejected me. She said she is just attracted to me. And wants to be my best friend. She says she does not understand the difference between love and attraction.

Now even I am confused with love and attraction. She had a boyfriend two years before, who left her. So she was really hurt at that time. And now one month before I proposed to her, she was proposed to by some one else. She also rejected that guy.

I really love her from my heart. I don’t think it is just attraction. This affects me greatly. My studies are affected the most. My concentration is just lost when I start studying. Exam tension is also gripping me due to that.

Should I keep the relation going on as a best friend?

How to know, does she love me or is she just attracted to me?

****

Love or Just Attraction? That is hard to sort out. It is very possible to fall deeply in love at 18, and keep on loving that person. It is more likely, though, to just be attracted. What is the case for you? I can not tell you.

Some people are more inclined to be faithful in their loving. That is the biggest thing, as far as I can tell. So ask yourself: are you usually steady when you care about something?

The same thing holds for her. So a question for her to ask herself is: if she feels strongly about you now, does she feel she will continue to have strong feelings for you?

On the other hand, maybe she is just attracted and has mainly friendship feelings for you.

How to know if she loves you or is just attracted? The best thing: talk with her, try to figure things out. Listen and also let her know what is going on with you. And then (very hard), give things time. Sometimes there is no instant answer.

Having a hard time concentrating on your studies at this moment – that is easy to understand. Yet as much as possible, I encourage you to do your best with your studies. They are so important in the long run – just like love is important.