From feeling no love, buried love to emotional healing. How to love yourself and others? Self love. Healing emotions. Feeling the meaning of love

FEELING NO LOVE       CONTACT feeling no love - buried love - love-not-junkie

An inner journey from feeling no love
to emotional healing,
from buried love to living the meaning of love.
How to love yourself by healing the emotions?

What do I have for you? There is the journey I've taken. You can read about it: Buried Love: Confessions of a Love-Not Junkie.

But my guess is that there's something else you're after. Likely you're here because something in you does not feel right. Likely, you feel a lack of love in your life and are searching for a way to change that. Many of us urgently want to go from feeling no love to feeling love.

I haven't found a jiffy road map. But I have explored my journey, and would love to share that. I've also found a reliable process for change toward Full Flourishing.

Right now, in addtion to the book and the process of change, I have 9 Free Tips, plus a bonus - music, which touches so many of us.

Three quick tips for people
without a love partner.

Six quick tips for people
who have a hard time loving.


I Welcome Love

I welcome love
wave a warm hello

I Welcome Love

If you want more than the tips and the song, there's the book. Plus there is Full Flourishing, a gentle process of ongoing inner change.

Buried Love begins:

There are so many confessions from all kinds of addicts - heroin, crack, sex, love, grass, alcohol. People hooked on too much of something.

My story is different ...

I'm a love-not junkie. Somehow or other, so long ago that I have no memory of things ever having been different, I got hooked on not loving...

This is what I've lived. Buried Love: Confessions of a Love-Not Junkie comes from my experience of having a very hard time with love, my long experience of living with buried love. That's what I draw on when I explore:

- How do you come to feel love when your love feelings have been shut down?

- How to go from feeling no love to feeling love?

- How can you heal the emotions?

But first, are you in Group One or Group Two?

Group One. The core of things is that you lack a love partner - husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend - where there's a good flow of love, a good back-and-forth loving. That's your big problem.

Group Two. The core of things is that you feel there's something missing within you. You sense a lack within yourself. You don't love easily. Maybe you just don't feel love. Maybe you fall in love, but then soon after the feeling is gone. Maybe you love only if you're not loved, or if the love is mixed with anger.

You may feel suffocated easily.

There may be a lot you're not comfortable talking about - or may even not ever talk about. You may only talk about everyday stuff, or what's going on in the world - not about what's going on inside you.

Or you may long for a feeling of closeness, but have no idea how you could help make this happen.

If you're in Group One, the question is: How to make it most likely that you meet and get together with someone right for you? Where might you meet that person? How best to present yourself? How to make it more likely that you enjoy each other, rather than that you somehow sabotage things? Inner change matters if, for instance, you have a tendency to sabotage good beginnings.

If you're in Group Two, the lack isn't mainly of a partner. You rarely feel love - or just don't feel it at all. Maybe you feel love for your children or your pets - but not for your partner, even if he or she is a great person. If you have a partner, no matter how great your partner is, thinking of your partner may bring up feelings of boredom or irritation rather than happiness or love. Inner change is vital.

Many of us, by the way, are in both Group One and Group Two. We're single. And we know our loving feelings are at least somewhat shut down. Feeling no love is all too easy for us.

Whichever group you're in, here are the 9 FREE TIPS, plus the bonus:


For those who want more, there is the book. There is also Full Flourishing, a weekly meeting.

There are also so many questions - like what have others said.

Three Free Tips for people
without a love partner

Six Free Tips for people
who have a hard time loving

I'll start with the book, go on to Full Flourishing, and end with some testimonials.

Buried Love - Confessions of a Love-Not Junkie

- The Beginning - Buried Love

- Part Two - Journeys

- Part Three -Magical Thinking

- Part Four -Some Enchanted Evening

- Part Five -Bonds, Buttons, Unbuttons

- Part Six - Now 

Click here to listen to the beginnging of the book.

Click here to choose to buy it: (NO CLICKING YET - NEED TO SET THIS UP)


The book may bring up all kinds of thoughts and feelings. So often books have stirred things within me.

But we may still be left with things as they are within us. That was so often my experience. I gained from what I had read. But it wasn't enough to change lots of inner stuff.

We may wish for a quick solution. My long experience: I couldn't find a quick solution - though lots of changes did happen over time.

A phrase comes to mind: Rome wasn't build in a day.

Likewise we didn't become as we are overnight.

And "inner renovation" - like any renovation - tends not to be overnight either.

Yes, there are breakthroughs.

But often we get stuck.


If you know you'd like more than some helpful tips, and also more than a personal story, come to Full Flourishing.

Full Flourishing - with A.C.E. - awareness, caring, engagement
Core to Full Flourishing is a process of taking small steps in a supportive group. You're not alone. We have so often felt alone, been alone.

The process: A.C.E. Awareness, caring, engagement. You're aware of something. You care. And you engage with small steps that feel right to you.

Enter your email address to be notified of the next free webinar.


Finally, what have have other people said?


Nicole D

Elsa is a spiritual healer and a brilliant writer and thinker. She is also for me a pillar of strength and a voice of reason.
          And her music videos are a reminder that there is a beauty in this world too!

Nicole Davidoff, passionate advocate of human rights and freedoms, passionately against any ideology that is totalitarian, cat lover


Mary Andrew
When I came upon Elsa's work, I had been galvanised to protest by the horrific slaughter of children in the Manchester bombing . . . But I felt isolated, downcast and daunted by the mountainous size of the problems. I have always been utterly anti-racist, but my friends thought I had become a bigot. I didn't know what to do. 
          Elsa's amazing, inspirational work has become a beacon of light to me, . . . which I desperately needed to become tougher, more confident, and much more active. . . . Thank you, Elsa, so much for all you have done to embolden me, and nurture my development. I am truly grateful!

Mary Andrew, working for a voice in mainstream politics


Ramachandra Abhyankar

Elsa has a unique talent to clarify issues and motivate people. Elsa has also taught me to not give up even when confronted by obstacles. . . . She is an inspiration and an example!

Ramachandra B. Abhyankar, associate professor


Bernadette Maclean r
Elsa and I originally connected via LinkedIn. She started a wonderful group of like-minded people. Elsa led the group.

Words to describe Elsa.
An amazing group leader. Contained structured boudaried, with freedom thrown in too!
Enabler. Enables growth.
Motivator. Enthusiastic supportive informative. Open minded.
All welcomed equally.
I would highly recommend her groups and workshops.
Elsa also contains any loose cannons too, such as me when I get on my soapbox!
Humour and coping strategies and wisdom abound.
Aware too. Lots of energy. The full caboodle.

Bernadette Maclean, critical incident responder / EAP counsellor / trauma responder


Chris Zahn
I was referred to Elsa Schieder and Full Flourishing when I was seeking a like-minded group. I found what I was seeking. A group of thinkers who weren't willing to accept the propaganda we were being spoon fed. We learned a lot from each other. I learned much more quickly than I would have on my own about what was being censored.

Elsa and the group are very caring. This encourages engagement. I'm encouraged to engage within my sphere of influence about everything.

I recommend Full Flourishing and Elsa's ACE method (Awareness, Caring, Engagement) for everyone.

Chris Zahn, friendly guy who can't help being logical


Dr. Schieder’s “Getting There From Here” was a wonderful experience for me. Many times, people don’t take initiatives simply because they don’t know what to do or how to start.  Dr. Schieder has a way of helping people not only define what it is that is holding them back, but she provided a framework for activation and execution of goals.  Our group meetings were engaging and fun.

It gave me the motivation and support I needed to formulate a plan. Once I began the process, the stress of feeling static left me and instead I was energized and renewed with a deep sense of purpose.

I highly recommend her program for anyone wishing to take their goals from thoughts to concrete action.

Maria Nardi, software developer


Jane Baylet Elsa is a strong and wise leader who has inspired me massively with her commitment to humanity and her powerful leadership. She is super smart and at the same time very compassionate and caring. She is utterly dedicated to the advancement of justice and human rights, and ending unnecessary suffering in the world.

Elsa will truly help you to flourish and achieve your full potential both as an individual and in the context of your wider role in society. I encourage you to engage with Elsa who will help you to flourish fully as a human being and reach your highest potential in terms of the impact you make in the world.

Jane Bayler, entrepreneur, proud cancer survivor, marketer and trainer who helps thought leaders and experts generate impact and authority through their online presence and communications

Jane Bayler - testimonial

Elsa has inspired me massively with her commitment to humanity and to our full flourishing, and with her powerful leadership. She is super smart and also super compassionate and super creative.



There are so many questions.

Why did it take so long to pay attention to feeling no love?

The main answer: it's like with children who come from alcoholic homes and don't make any trouble. The attention first goes to the ones who get into trouble - the rebels, the angry ones, the violent ones, those who self-abuse.

In fact, it used to be believed that the kids who didn't get into trouble were seen as unhurt by the alcoholic home environment. But they are just as hurt, just in different ways. They may be people pleasers, or over-responsible, or emotionally shut down.

Couldn't people tell something was wrong?

How can one tell? Even from the inside, it's likely to feel that it's just that the person we're with is not the right person. In other words, if they were the right person, so one feels, loving feelings would flow.

Another reason people may not be able to tell that loving feelings are shut down is that many people may look as if they love too much, but aren't really feeling any love. They may be hooked on the person, angry at the person, longing and aching and hoping and upset and worried and desperate. That isn't the same as feeling love.

Why didn't you speak up sooner?

In part, I thought it was just that I hadn't found the right person.

Even more, I felt people might just turn away if I talked about feeling no love or having very little love feeling: "Wow, there's something awfully wrong with you!!"

Also, other people didn't bring this up. If someone is with, say, a drug addict, that is likely to be noticed and caring people may encourage her or him to leave. But if everything looks fine on the outside, what would people bring up?

How can one tell if one is feeling love?

At times, we may not be sure. Love isn't always some big wallop. With strong love, one knows.

How can one cultivate loving feelings?

I've found a few tools that work for me. I'm happy to share.

What works?

I've found that the most effective tools are those that work on the body directly.

But for now, click for:

3 Free Tips for Group One.

6 Free Tips for Group Two.

Plus there's a bonus gift:

I Welcome Love

I welcome love
wave a warm hello
. . .

There is also the option of getting the book, Buried Love:

- Buried Love -
Confessions of a Love-Not Junkie


An inner journey from feeling no love to emotional healing,
from buried love to living the meaning of love.
How to love yourself by healing the emotions?

Feel No Love Story

Feel No Love Story feel no love, inner healing, emotional healing, healing the emotions


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