I give in
I give up
I knuckle under
                almost


      I wish that you
      could tell me true
            what to do
                or almost


      I have a dream
      and it does seem
      I could make it real
                almost


      I wonder now
      could you tell me how
            to live my life


      Yet let me be
      It's my life, for me
            to mess up
                or not to


      Ah I don't know
      which way to go
      'cause I'm confused


      It didn't use
            to be this way
      It's hard every day
                almost


      I try to listen to
      the me inside
      But which me?
      I think I hide


      And then with friends
      I open wide
      and I have fun
      But it's still hard
            and then...


I give in
I give up
I knuckle under
                almost


      I've had enough
      Times are tough
      I want things to happen
             now
      I want to know
      which way to go



      I know the lines
                Give it time
                Some things are fine
                Don't turn to crime
                Don't suck a lime
                Don't spend your last dime
                Don't worry   Be happy

      And I roll my eyes
      And despise   those lines
 


      Yet then
      I try again
      and I find
      things go okay
            if I give them time
            and if I try
                  to hang loose
                  and to choose
                  to do my best
                            or almost


      As for the rest
      who can tell?
      What the hell
      Kung fu to you
      So much for the blues
                 the blahs
                 the blobs
                 the flus


      I got it all
                 almost



      They say
      a lot is
            up to me

      and I will see
            if I can't reach
            something so each
            of us will say
                        hey dude cool
            or at least
            something that would
            make me feel good
            and I could say
                        hey dude cool


      Have a blast
      Life's a gas
      Razzamatazz
                        or almost


      But then
      I'm too blue
      It's no use
      I'm through
                        almost


I give in
I give up
I knuckle under
                        almost



      I say
      to myself
      so only I can hear


      'Hang in there
      in the middle of
            nowhere
      when no one cares


      'Cause then
      there's a chance



Yeah, sometimes
I have a dream
And it does seem
I could make it real



And then
            I try again
And I find
that things
            go okay
            if I give them time
            and if I try
                        to hang loose
                        and to choose
                        to do my best
                                    or almost


Elsa

March 1994

© copyright Elsa Schieder, 1994, 2024, all rights reserved


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I GIVE IN, I GIVE UP ... ALMOST.
A poem of almost despair,
of holding on, of not giving in,
not giving up. But almost.
Poetry of being close to the edge.

I GIVE IN, I GIVE UP ... ALMOST.
So many poems, so much poetry,
so many words floating,
desire and longing
No desire to give up,
but knowing that giving up is close.
A cry, sometimes it's hard.

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NOT DESPAIR

There are poems of despair.
This is a different poetry.
The feeling ... almost.
This is a poem catching
that almost feeling,
poetry catching
that almost giving up feeling,
words coming from
that almost giving in feeling,
but going on,
somehow believing
from deep inside
one can get where ...?
destination unknown.
Deep down blues,
true deep down blues.
Yes, it's not just maybe.
It's the blues,
not the almost blues
in this poem of
almost giving up,
almost giving in,
but going on.

This was the start,
the start of the flow of poetry
in my life,
so very unexpected.

Elsa
February 24, 2024