CAN'T CROSS THE GAP
between the feeling
and the fact
between the longing and the act
a
gap
I stand at the edge
between this side and that
between the urge and turning back
I stand at the edge
of
the gap
I stand at the edge
held back
by
the gap
I stand at the edge
airplane
door open
parachute
strapped on
ready to plunge
but trapped
can't cross the edge the gap
I stand on a ledge
mountain peaks high
sheer rock straight down
I don't look down
can't go forward or back
I stand at the edge
look down
it's a sidewalk
the light changes
I still hold back
I stand at the edge
trapped
aching to reach
past the gap
but can't cross that
can't cross
from feeling to fact
from thought to act
can't cross that
too
deep
too
wide
too
high
a
chasm
an
abyss
a
canyon
a
crack
can't
cross that
can't
cross the gap
I stand at the edge
I act in my head
hold still in dread
unsure
instead
of
risking the gap
between the feeling
and the fact
between the longing and the act
a
gap
I try to dance
to
sing
my
body's stiff
my
voice holds back
it's
out of tune
off
track
it
lacks
later
I want to dance
to
sing
I recall
the lacks
I hold
back
snip
snap
crick
crack
a gaping
aching
gap
your hand my hand
a
gap
I have reached
something
cracked
now if I reach
and you reach
do
we reach
a
track
or
a trap?
a track
a path
that
goes along
goes
beyond
is this that?
or a trap
ever
tighter
ever
closer
no
escape
except
surrender
is this that?
track or trap?
a trap?
a lure?
to
capture
crack
enclose
ensure
there's
no turning back
is it that?
I look down
it's
just a crack
I stand frozen
crick
crack
don't
cross the crack
don't go forward
don't go back
between the thought and the act
between the longing and the fact
a
gap
I stand at the edge
I act in my head
I hold still instead
of
risking the gap
I stand at the edge
I act in my head
caught
between
desire and dread
between the fiction and the real
the
real and the ideal
the
image and the act
the
thought and the fact
the
wish and the fear
the
longing and the lack
at
the gap
a gap
in
the track
crick
crack
snap
crack gap
an
edge
ledge
gap
stopped in my tracks
a
gap
can't
cross that
this not that
dog not cat
a
gap
split splat
zip zap
a
gap
between the feeling and the act
between the wish and the fact
this
not
that
a
gap
trip trap
not that
not that
not a trap
not that
zip zap
rip rap
trapped
between the fiction and the fact
trapped
stalled
at
the gap
do I fall
into
the gap?
or can I cross past that?
is it a trap?
or is there a track past that?
trapped
stalled
splat zap
trapped
between the feeling and the fact
between the longing and the act
a
gap
Elsa
August 14, 1999
©
Elsa Schieder, 1999, 2011 -
all rights reserved
****
For
another version of
Can't Cross the Gap,
click here.
****
CAN'T
CROSS THE GAP
words and vocals - Elsa
Schieder
music, arrangement and keyboard - Yves Laporte
melody, "between the feeling and the fact" - Yves Laporte
melody "I stand at the edge" - Elsa Schieder
melody "between desire and dread" - Elsa Schieder
sound production - Yves Laporte (all initial work), Tim Alleyne (final initial
edit), and Mark Corwin (final sound production)
****
FROM
WORDS
TO OUT IN THE WORLD -
MANY GAPS TO BE CROSSED
It
has taken a long time for my words to get out into the world. This piece got
much further than most very early on, almost right from its writing. And then
for years, it went nowhere at all - and what with a computer that wouldn't
export, a lot of work got lost.
THE
STORY. Every now and then, I found people to do a piece or two with. Most
were doing their own thing, and after a bit continued on their own way.
For
this song, I was lucky to meet ("meet" - this was no accident -
I contacted a lot of keyboard players on a list of Montreal musicians someone
had taken the time and effort to compile) - back to, for this piece I was
lucky to meet Yves Laporte.
Yves
wrote a melody line for another of my pieces. I liked his melody but not for
that piece. I heard such longing in it. Gap came to mind.
Yves'
melody line is the central one - the one for "between the feeling and
the fact, between the longing and the act."
We
met over and over. He wrote all the music. I came up with a couple of melody
lines - ones just about within my very limited singing range (again, so frustrating
not to have the voice to express what one hears in one's head).
Yves
developed the music fully and did all the initial sound production - all in
his room/home/studio, and all on a Mac where something had broken, something
that would let him get things off his computer.
We
did, at the end, three recordings on tape: song, spoken word with music, words
only.
We
did not record only the music - aftr all, I had only tape, and a better version
of the music was on his computer. Some way was supposed to be found to export
it.
There's
ended up being no copy of what Yves had on his computer. So there's no version
of just the music. Frustrating.
All
that exists are the three taped recordings.
Yves
tried to send the music file by email. Patience in his trying. One try. Nothing.
Another. Nothing. Nothing worked. Energy ran out. Time passed. Like with so
many things, stuff was left unfinished.
Gaps.
Between the feeling, the work - and even getting the finished work off the
computer, let alone finding a place for the work out in the world.
Something
does exist. Much is missing.
Now
I know way more and have more resources.
And
I am trying to get across other gaps as well. Because even if I'd had everything,
all the music,all the original files - where would it have gone?
The
world is large and daunting. And there isn't always a helping hand.
Elsa
July 16, 2006
****
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A
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by Date Created
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of page
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