MY FATHER'S WORLDS
the most important thing for me
work
achieve
reach
don’t just stay locked inside
like
my father
a world inside
a thousand worlds
a life inside
a thousand stories
memories
intensities
but inside
contained
in one aging body
containing
galaxies
black
holes
when
he speaks I am sucked into a black hole
a
whirling vortex
he
needs to be heard
I
fight against the black hold of his need
though
away from him
I
play over and over
in
my mind
his
memories
a memory
one of his memories
replaying in my mind
I
was fourteen.
In
my village I saw Russian prisoners of war
being
transferred,
many
too weak to walk,
held
up by others,
hanging
on so they could get to the next camp.
I
remember a Nazi officer,
a
kid actually, maybe twenty,
maybe
a sadist, a brute,
maybe
just brainwashed,
pick
up a branch of thorns,
whip
one man,
the
thorns pulling chunks of flesh from his neck.
I
went to my father, crying.
He
told the SS officer next door.
The
young man was transferred
to
the Russian front.
I
heard not long after that he had been killed.
a million memories
no space inside me to listen
unless the words have been shaped
into stories in books
or unless I am
asking
often I listen
to others
I stay silent with my father
with him
I have nothing to say
also with others these days
I often have nothing to say
inside me
I find nothing to say
he has
galaxies
black
holes
memories
whirling
consuming
his interest
fascinating
him
holding
him
feeding
him
pleasing
him
I watch the cat
purring
on my lap
and feel flat
Elsa
May 27, 2000
© Elsa Schieder, 2000, 2011, all rights reserved
****
Three years passed.
Just a few months before my father's death,
other words came to me.
The Night Before the Forever Dark.
Another daughter to father poem.
He died in an accident. A car crash.
Within weeks, I was moved to explore
what home had meant to him -
and especially how he had never felt really at home.
Chosen Home - A Reflection.
I suppose one could call this father and daughter stories,
because I was also exploring my own so frequent
sense of not being at home
.
Even better than just going to those other pieces,
stay in touch.
My father, myself.
There's no one I've felt closer to.
His creativity, intensity, desire.
His hope, his despair. Elsa.
I can't believe he's no longer alive -
he is so alive for me.
My father, myself. He wrote. I write.
He dreamed.
I dream and hope and long
and try and try some more.
I'm less afraid to keep trying.
He looked so strong.
But it was hard for him
to find a place for himself
in the world.
One that fit.
So many walls inside himself.
One of my desires:
to find a place for my father's writings
in the world.
Welcome into my world.
And
welcome also into my father's world.
He died several
years ago,
left so many writings unfinished,
none sent out.
He always wanted
me to take his work
and bring it out into the world.
But I was too stuck with
my own work
not going anywhere.
Now, with this site,
I am sure there will
be space
for both of us.
Elsa
June
18, 2006
Daughter to Father Poem. Father Daughter Poems.
Poems for Fathers.
one aging body containing galaxies,
black holes.
when he speaks I am sucked into a black hole,
a whirling vortex.
Words music. Spoken Word Poems. Poems on Life.
My Father's Worlds. My father, myself.
There's no one I've felt closer to.
His creativity, intensity, desire.
His hope, his despair. Elsa.
Click here for
all the words music
spoken word poems poetry
music lyrics
songs.
MORE ...
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plus FREE UPDATES
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Elsa
****
A dozen
years ago,
I began to wake up
with word pieces -
words music, spoken word, songs -
in my head.
Escape velocity.
Echo of the echo.
Tank almost empty.
Can't cross the gap.
Welcome into my world.
WORDS MUSIC WORDS
Daughter to father poem
Father who wrote so many poems
Poems for fathers, poem for my father
Words from before he died
Daughter to father poem
Memories of my father
My father myself
My father - who else,
who else was so much like me?
no one else could ever be
Daughter to father poem
Daddy, no other father could be
a father so much my father
your desires, my desires
your words, my words
one word, one world
imagination, creativity
Daughter to father poem
Poems for fathers
daughter to father poems
the well will never run dry
the word will well up
You sat beside me
long after you died
Yet so much distance between us
Somehow so much distance
And yet so much the same
Or maybe we are utterly different
And yet so many loves are the same
Daughter to father poem
When I see your picture I feel
you are right here to hear me
You would be if you could
Poems for father
nothing simple
Life is not simple
Love is not simple
And yet no one has been closer
No one has been more me
No one maybe has so adored me
Or anyway so it sometimes seemed
Dreamer - so much a dreamer
Dreaming so many worlds
like your daughter
Daughter to father poems
you would have loved to know
you were sure you knew
father daughter love
Elsa
June 18, 2008
© copyright - Elsa Schieder - 2008, 2011, all rights reserved
A GIFT TO MY FATHER AND THE WORLD
My Father's Poems ... on the web.
Poems of Longing -
Sehnsucht Gedichte.
This is my favorite - Der Punkt.
It's about homesickness.
