What are your core beliefs about life? Deep in my inner life is a rescue fantasy. Another core belief is that I have valuable gifts. Is this just a silly fantasy?
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What are your core beliefs about life? Deep in my inner life
is a rescue fantasy. Another core belief, inner story,
is that I have valuable gifts. Is this just a silly fantasy?
Sept 9, 2009
WHAT'S YOUR SECRET FANTASY?
I know that a fantasy grips me - the fantasy that I can do it. Maybe I can actually reach where I long to reach - but whether or not I can, it's a deep deep fantasy, a core belief, an strong inner story. I remember, as a child, imagining myself doing great deeds along with super heroes, especially Super Man. My fantasy: I can do it too, rescue the world, defeat evil - and find true love, or rather be swept away by true love, another huge fantasy.
I'm still, in many ways, driven by these fantasies. My fantasy: there are things I know that are as valuable as the insulin discovered by Banting; as important as the theories of ... oh, it doesn't matter - someone very important; as great as the dream of Martin Luther King - and on top of that, they also help explain why it's so hard to make Martin Luther King's dream come real.
I see John F Kennedy in my mind's eye. I have dreams of my own, of being able to give something vital to my world.
In my mind, Kennedy is standing and waving, smiling, his wife standing and waving beside him. He will not die, the bullet will miss him. I wish I could have done that.
My fantasy also includes rescue: not just that I will rescue, but that someone will rescue me, come to my aid, see what I have to offer and help me get it out into the world. I think that may come from being a woman - I grew up with stories about Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty and Snow White. Maybe I take thousands of actions in the real world. Deep inside me I expect rescue.
But it's true, I do need to be found - at any rate, to make myself visible so I will be found.
What I'm trying to do is separate out the fantasy - the part that is only fantasy - and the part that is real and powerful, the part that's rooted in reality.
It isn't a fantasy that Banting's discovery of insulin changed the lives of diabetics. His discovery is real.
It isn't something imaginary, what I've found out about rights movements (gender, race, sexual orientation, etc). It's real, and important - vital, even.
Banting managed to get his message out.
Will I?
In my fantasy, I do. In my childhood fantasies - Western fantasies of saving the wagon train by bringing back water though almost dying of thirst - I manage to do it only in the nick of time. Here, in reality, is there a nick of time? I think it's more the case that the sooner the better - just as, the sooner Banting's discoveries were out, the better for the diabetics who were critically ill.
In other words, I have quite a powerful fantasy of my stuff mattering.
Does it matter? If I'm a narcissist, someone with grandiose fantasies, my fantasies aren't linked with reality. If I'm a narcissist, I'm after praise, rage at any criticism, and have no empathy. My fantasies spring from empathy. That doesn't mean they're in line with reality, It just means they don't come from a narcissistic perspective, but from someone (hopefully not deluded) deeply believing they have important knowledge about why so often social movements go wrong.
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What's your fantasy? What's real about it? What are you doing to make it real?
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I've been developing this site. That's my latest attempt. I'm taking this year to get out into the world.
Come back in a year - and we will see how I've done - and we will see, much more important, if heaing about my findings actually does have an impact on people, on the world.
Elsa
stirring inner fires
releasing inner riches
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stirring inner fires
releasing inner riches
What are your core beliefs about life? Deep in my inner life is a rescue fantasy.
Another inner story is that I have valuable gifts. Is this just a silly fantasy?
Is it a silly fantasy, a dumb fantasy? And so what? It's an inner story,
an inner narrative - and little is more powerful than inner stories, personal narratives.
They have a stronger hold than crazy glue.
You can ignore them -but that doesn't defuse the power of inner stories,
personal narratives. It's all about the inner life -
my inner life, your inner life, beliefs about life.
So what's your fantasy inner story? What happens in your fantasy?
How much do you live your fantasy, whether or not you want to?
Is it a rescue fantasy?
My fantasy is ... How does it continue?
Is it your secret fantasy, so secret it's been shared with no one?
Do you have secret fantasy dreams -
maybe better to call them secret fantasy daydreams? -
or maybe they're nightmares?
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