Self Satisfaction
Satisfaction Motivation - My Deepest Motivation

What satisfies deeply? What gives deep self satisfaction?

My father, longing for the cowboy West of his childhood fantasies, came from
war-torn Vienna to Canada - and longed to return home ever after, but did not acknowledge
this for decades, and would never have returned (inner reasons). Even if he had found
cowboys and bucking horses, that would not have satisfied his longing. The longing:
for the sense of drama, adventure, heroism of the cowboy stories
of his childhood. Reality could not satisfy that longing.

Feeling deeply satisfied - not easy for so many of us.

Satisfactions. A good meal satisfies hunger. A good workout satisfies the need for the body
to exercise. A good conversation satisfies the need for talk connection and friendship.
A good hug gives a quick sense of closeness.

Longer satisfaction. Does love do it? The songs say yes. All you need is love.
Baby I need your loving. Eight days a week is not enough to say I care.

Falling in love. Being in love. Those bring more than satisfaction. In-love feeling. A glow.
Radiant joy. The sense the happiness will never end.

Often, though, either the in-love feeling fades and/or despite that,
there is at least some boredom.

Boredom. That for me is at the heart of what is at the opposite of satisfaction.
needs vs wants
****

What works against boredom?

For me, it is acting on whatever grips me,
fulfilling a want that comes from within.

In my case, most of these wants have had to do with expressing creative stuff
and also ideas, and reaching others. This is from childhood on.

I wrote a play in Grade 7. That was a pleasure. But it left unfulfilled the urge
to have the play performed, to have it seen by an audience. It took 3 attempts,
3 years in a row, until that happened. A tiny performance in the basement of friends
of my parents. It wasn't all I wished for. But it gave some satisfaction.

Satisfaction from creating and then reaching people
with what I've created is still huge in my life.

For me, this site is part of what I need to feel satisfied. It's coming closer and closer
to satisfying a want, a deep-rooted longing, a profound desire:
to reach others with my gifts - gifts of ideas, gifts of stories and songs, of images.

I remember, so very vividly, someone trying to convince me that just doing the creative stuff
should be enough to satisfy me. After all, there's so much creative stuff around in the world.
There's just not enough space for all that creativity to get an audience.
For one conductor's position, for example, there are hundreds of applicants.

I remember just as vividly, my answer. No, just expressing myself isn't enough.
I know my hunger. It isn't just for expression. I hunger to reach others.

That hunger has driven me to do what I could to get an audience. Find places to send stuff.
Apply for grants. But just as in childhood, I needed my own skipping rope
to play skipping the way I wanted it, now I've needed a space of my own.

That means, that for the carrot of satisfaction, I've learned a massive amount of skills.
Skills to do with creating web pages, laying out web pages. And then other skills:
skills to do with being found on the web. Not easy, to learn those skills. In fact,
mind-bogglingly hard for me. Very confusing. So different from everything in
the non-virtual world. One massive help has been SiteSell. (Here's the full story
of my adventures with SiteSell and Internet Land to get better search engine ranks and
sometimes even top web site ranking.) SiteSell has put all the tools together in one place,
so with lots of effort and trying, it's been possible to get an audience -
up fivefold over the past year, still going up -
now (Dec 08) approaching 30,000 page views a month.

More on what I've needed to reach that carrot of satisfaction.
I've needed to be able to express enough of my gift well enough
so there's something really worthwhile to give to others.
It's so frustrating to try to say something, and not to be able to get it out.The closest thing
I can think of is someone who's had a stroke. Words want to get out, but can't.
In this case, ideas want to get out, images want to get out, feelings want to get out.
My sense is that an almost lifelong task has been getting rid of sludge that's in my way,
between the idea and the expression.

That carrot, the urge for satisfaction, has propelled me for years - decades now.
Another very hard thing (for me) it's pushed me to do is try to connect with others
who can help me complete my projects - ideally others where my gifts go
with theirs, so we both end up with more satisfaction. Also, very important,
for much more satisfaction, we like each other, we're people who connect well
person to person.

****

More on my carrots. Something else satisfies me profoundly:
creating answers to questions, when I can't find the answers.

I find learning satisfying - almost every kind of learning,
and that has come to include creating knowledge.

Sometimes I ask questions, and the answers aren't out there.
What is the impact of social movements, like anti-racist and feminist movements, on
people who become very involved. Almost no research on this. So I ended up doing a lot.

Incredibly satisfying.

****

Something else on satisfying wants and needs. This of course changes over time.
I remember when playing in the sandbox was very satisfying. I even remember
my father saying, one time, that a time would come when I would no longer love playing
in the sandbox. In me, something agreed with him. I knew, deep inside, that that time
was coming. But at the same time I found it hard to believe that such a deep want -
I want to play in the sandbox, on and on and on - could stop.

Reading stories was amazingly satisfying for decades. It filled something -
a longing for fantasy, and gave also a fantasy satisfaction to real longings
(love, adventure, heroism).

Learning is something that has been satisfying all my life long.
These days, I sometimes watch Animal Planet. I am enthralled by all I learn.
I watch for 5 minutes and am hooked. I want to learn more.

Talking abut myself. Dreams. Relationships.
That used to satisfy a deep want - to connect, to explore.

Times change. Wants change.

For me, though, some lifelong longings are creating and reaching.
For self-satisfaction, I need to do those. Satisfaction motivation is for me
one of the most intense. I am motivated to feel satisfaction -
because the opposite feelings (disappointment, boredom, longing, despair)
hurt too much.

****

My hope: that with the web I - and many others - will get closer to reaching
a considerable portion of what we deeply want - in terms of reaching
and being reached - than ever before. A couple of years ago, my partner passed me
Wikinomics, a book on the economics of community and openness and sharing and
peering that is (in the authors' enthusiastic view) the best of the economic developments
enabled by the web. It leads to, they hold, more rapid growth and development than
could otherwise be possible - with so many minds able to work on the same questions
(like the human genome project), answers and more questions come at breakneck speed.

****

Yet the speed of developments hasn't created general satisfaction,
even among most computer users.

Because, I would say, they haven't satisfied deep enough longings
for most of the users.

May you find enormous loving satisfaction.

signed,

Dr Zee
July 4, 2007, December 15, 2008

copyright © Elsa Schieder 2007, 2008 - all rights reserved
publishing house - Fluffed Impressions 2008

****

For the start of the exploration of
Life Satisfaction or
What Do We Really Want,
click here.

To go to from Self Satisfaction to
The Words Say It -
the language of want, need and desire,
click here.

To explore one thing that satisfies,
Caring,
click here.

To go to everything
on Dr Zees LoveLine,
click here.

YOUR COMMENTS
YOUR THOUGHTS
on WANTS VERSUS NEEDS, NEEDS VS WANTS -
WHAT GIVES YOU SATISFACTION

DR ZEES LOVELINE on WHAT GIVES SATISFACTION
SELF SATISFACTION, LIFE SATISFACTION, SATISFACTION MOTIVATION
cant get no satisfaction versus satisfaction guaranteed *
wants versus needs when it comes to life satisfaction
needs vs wants when it comes to self motivation
self motivation leads to ... self satisfaction
DR ZEES LOVELINE

Dr Zees LoveLine

DR ZEES LOVELINE
WANTS VERSUS NEEDS when it comes to SELF SATISFACTION, LIFE SATISFACTION
satisfaction motivation means ... I know what I want
life satisfaction means ... I've had enough that feels right
self motivation means ... the source is inside me
DR ZEES LOVELINE

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