|
.
.
.
.
ALL
ELSA'S BLOG POSTS
SELF? SHADOW? - which
is which? - June 17, 2010
SELF BETRAYAL -
June 6, 2010
SHADOW WORK -
the vampire archetype -
June 6, 2010
HOW TO STOP ANGER - quick
anger cure? - Apr 18, 2010
EVERYTHING HAS CHANGED -
Mar 12, 2010
SHIFTING REALITIES -
Nov 19, 09
AVOIDANCE? or SANITY? -
Nov 1, 09
DEATH BY CHATTER -
Oct 25, 09
INSIDER OUTSIDER -
Oct 23, 09
TRAVEL THOUGHTS -
roads never taken before -
Oct 16, 09
LIFE PATTERN:
try try try again
- Oct 10, 09
A PERSONAL PATTERN:
I start with desire - Oct 7, 09
BLOG POSTINGS
A STRANGE SECRET
SHIFTING REALITIES
LOVE-NOT JUNKIE - BURIED LOVE
PLEASE HELP
BRAVE NEW DIRECTION - SPEAKING AS AN EXPERT
ALL
ELSA'S CREATIVITY BLOG
****
about Elsa
contact
top of page
|
Change Blog. I live in shifting realities.
Is it an inner block that keeps shifting reality?
Is it emotional blocks? Why these ever changing perceptions?
November 19, 2009
SHIFTING REALITIES
There are many things I am certain of - so many, many, many. Often logic is involved.
There are many others where I am uncertain - often even about what is happening. This doesn't usuallly have to do with easily visible facts. That kind of fact may be clear. But what do they mean? Or even if I have a pretty good idea of what something means, I can't quite figure out: what does that mean to me? how do I feel about that?
Or, I think I feel one way - and then I wake up having a totally different response. Reality has shifted - maybe just my inner reality, but it feels as if everything has shifted.
And then, I tell the facts to someone else - and again, reality shifts, including my inside reality.
I so easily see things - emotional things - through someone else's eyes. Reality does not hold steady.
It most often has something to do with something someone does to me. What is an over-response? Under-response? What is letting oneself be used? What makes sense? When am I asking too much? When am I giving too much away too easily? When am I trusting too much? Too little?
Reality keeps shifting. Or, rather, often I am so utterly uncertain. Inner block? Emotional blocks?
****
I'm trying to think of an example that doesn't let the cat out of the bag - the cat, my privacy and the privacy of others.
I'm stuck.
Maybe I will leave it at this: sometimes my response to reality suddenly radically shifts. It is as if a part of me suddenly awakens. It wasn't there - didn't let itself be known, anyhow. And then suddenly, loud and clear, it responds. I am surprised at myself - I had no idea I could feel that way about that.
Where does this come from? - this having parts of myself in hiding from myself?
Is there some kind of invisible inner block?
Actually, where does this come from isn't a tough question. Way way earlier on - or so the theories hold - blocking some feeling was the best I could do if something was too tough for me. Numb out. And waking up isn't easy. One can't decide to do it. And I haven't found an easy way to break the spell.
But sometimes it just breaks.
Except it's more complicated than that. Sometimes it feels as if I've fallen into a spell, rather than out of one.
****
For Sleeping Beauty and Snow White, it's so easy. They're asleep, very definitely. All it takes is a kiss. Maybe the kiss means love - that it takes love to wake us.
I've found something harder. Grief. Loss. That is what has most woken me up - some love, or maybe not even any awareness of love - and then loss, or even just the fear of loss. Grief, sadness - and something melts inside me.
****
I'm still trying to wake up. Lots of me is awake. But I have the sense of parts not far under the surface, so close and sometimes surfacing.
****
And then ... that other thing, the thing I started with, shifting realities. How do I respond to things? So many changes, shifts - sometimes things that did not hurt, hurt terribly. And sometimes hurt, anger, whatever just disappears. Where did it go? It's gone.
Elsa
stirring inner fires
releasing inner riches
Click here for more on
an inner block, a mental block -
in this case, a block against thinking.
Click here for anger poems, rap poems
on inner blocks, emotional blocks -
Chains in the Mind.
Click here for another blog on shifting realities,
in this case suddenly falling into loneliness.
Click here for lots more
interesting blogs about life and change.

words stirring the riches within
Here's more on ... why subscribe?
inner magic released
from stuck in a bottle
to developing your potential
creative development, living fully
or you can just click here and
enter your email address
Elsa
stirring inner fires
releasing inner riches
Change Blog. I live in shifting realities. Is it an inner block that keeps shifting reality? Is it emotions blocks? Why these ever changing perceptions?
- shifting realities - I don't care - I care terribly -
- shifting reality - this is fine - this isn't fine at all -
- changing perception - and nothing is the same -
to change perception, to change perceptions,
to experience a change in perception
can be an utter change,
larger than an outward change -
- inner blocks -
walls in the mind -
-
emotional blocks - higher than road blocks - harder too -
- inner block - emotional block - mental block - detrimental -
Elsa's Blog . Elsas Blog . Elsa's Blogs . Elsas Blogs . Elsa's Blogging . Elsas Blogging
 |