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Being stuck in too small a life. Lots of blisters and worse,
like the dancer caught in magic red dancing shoes.
How to find the right size life? Choices.
Diary Blogs, Creativity Blog.

MAY 28 , 2007

STUCK IN TOO SMALL A LIFE

What size of life is the right size?

"If the shoe fits, wear it," is an old slogan. Well in this case, the shoe is beginning to give me blisters.

My mother was one of the many women of her generation stuck, for many years, in too small a life. In her case, it had to do with the traditional role of women. She needed more than taking care of the home and children. She enjoyed being out in the grown-up world, working. In her case, to feel satisfied she only needed part-time work, but without that outside stimulation, something was missing.

Right now, I see so many people around me - like myself, like my partner, rushing, overwhelmed, always too much to do.

This life is feeling increasingly too small for me, and I'd guess for many people. Lots of blisters, as we keep on going - dancing like the dancer caught in magic red dancing shoes that wouldn't stop. In her case, if I remember the fairy tale right, she finally dropped dead. In mine, I find it easy to get snappy.

But much of the demands, in my case anyway, come from me. I'm feeling confined by a long things-to-de list that comes, in part at least, from my own choices.

There's more than one side of me. And another side, with very different priorities, is clamoring away these days.

The other priorities. The creativity site. My creative projects. My idea pieces.

But the other projects say: Me first! You need to do me first! You have this obligation and that obligation to this person and that person! This fire needs to be put out, and that fire needs to be put out. That other stuff can wait. It doesn't have a deadline. Our stuff is urgent. Now! Get it done!

But, the other voices insist quietly, what is most important to you, and even in its own tiny way, to the world?

I know my inside answer. If any of my writings - from the idea pieces to the spoken word pieces to Caro's Quest - touch people, those things matter more.

The other demands are to make money - and also, mixed in with that, to take care of other people and in so doing, make money.

I have no difficulty giving those demands time and space. It's just that a voice inside me is saying - enough.

It has partly to do with outside circumstances. We were supposed, by now, to have someone working with us, which would free up my time. It's taken longer than we expected - not easy finding the right people. Within a few weeks everything should be on track. But this last stretch is going against my inner priorities.

This life is too small, says that voice. It's living with a corset instead of breathing freely. It's dancing with crazy red dancing shoes that won't stop instead of shoes that fit. I'm not dancing - the shoes are!

****

I know that most people always have to juggle. I think though, that I'm far from the only one who, these days, is being pulled too far off track, longing to get into a life that feels better, more the right fit.

****

So here's to living the right size life.

In my case, writing outward to you, whoever you are, is part of "the right size life."

Something else? Yes, most recently i took the time to type the word piece I wrote after the death of a friend's son, and it's now on the web:

               words cannot describe
               words cannot describe
                              your leaving

               words cannot contain
               words cannot contain

Here's the whole piece - WORDS CANNOT CONTAIN

Life, loving, closeness, and in my case, trying to describe that, catch it in words - that is much of what makes life feel the right size for me.

****

All the best,

And with that,

As always, welcome into my world.

signed,

Elsa
creating, connecting, exchanging -
or anyway, trying to

MAY 28, 2007

copyright © Elsa Schieder 2007
publishing house - FlufferDuff Impressions 2007

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Elsas Diary Blogs,
Writer Blogs, Creativity Blog.
Stuck in too small a life.
Blisters and worse, like the dancer caught
in magic red dancing shoes.
How to find the right size life? Choices.

For more diary blogs -
on the need for help to make dreams come true -
click here
.

For another self development blog -
on the need for the right kind of mirror to come alive -
click here
.

For all Elsa's diary blogs and creativity blogs,
click here
.

Elsa's Creativity Blog
Writer blogs, poetry blogs, musical blogs.
How do I get my works out into the world?
Steps, stages, successes, failures.
Creativity. Not easy to find a home for it.

 

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****

For those of you wondering, just what are Elsa's diary blogs about?


elsas diary blogs
are not the same as elsas diary log - a jotting down of events, of time spent

elsas diary blogs, blog journals, personal blogs
are not a hop and stop
     tip top mop shop pop drop
elsas diary blogs
     are elsas diary blogs
     are elsas diary blogs

but what are elsas diary blogs?

elsas diary blogs, blog journals, personal blogs
     are stop and start
          on and off
       trying
       doing
       ever renewing
                    elsas diary blogs, personal blogs
                    elsas diary blogs, blog journals
     not a dog
                 log
                 fog
                 smog
                 groggy old nodding off creativity blob
     is a wide awake
         revving up
         ever making up stuff
                 elsas diary blogs

elsas diary blogs -
     a short stop to bring you along
                           as I'm living my days
                           feeling my way
                           like a jungle explorer
                           creepers and crawlers every which way
                           how to get through the day?
                           I couldn't say
that's elsas diary blogs

where do they come from?
where do they go?
elsas diary blogs don't know

they record the words elsa writes
stay the course
blog all night
delighted to be blogging
         leap frogging
                  over words
                  over muddles
                  over huddles
                           of word lugging trouble
                  over word puddles
                  and into word puddles

elsas blogs, personal blogs, diary jottings,
                    elsas personal thoughts, blog journals



                                                                                    
 Elsa Schieder
                                                                                      January 10, 2008
                                                                                      © Elsa Schieder, 2008

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