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So here I am,
A big question - how to do this?
I can do this,
It's easiest in the morning.
What do you see when
Elsa's Creativity Site - song, music, story, ideas.
JULY 31, 2006
PROGRESS - THE IDEA EMPORIUM IS ON ITS WAY!
Finally, after a month of technical stuff, I'm onto a new section of the emporium!!! The Idea Emporium. A million decisions made, in the last couple of days, on how to display it. It's not expressing the ideas thats been the hard part. The hard part: background color, font size, imagery. It feels, when I start - especially when I have lots of stuff, when I'm not starting fresh, as if I will never be able to figure things out.
And then I did - and I liked it so much that by yesterday evening I wanted to redo the creativity blog - background color, font, width of the page.
And then I go, but does that matter, isn't it the content that matters?
I did some work on the display of the creativity blog - and I have no idea if you will be seeing this on the page, looking the way it does as I'm working on it, or on a revised display. I rather think it will be some revised display.
And now .....
How do I make those decisions so hard for me to make? When I get stuck I go outward - to Philippe. I don't always agree with what is right for him - bur often I do, and also often enough that I have a sense of him as some reliable (though imperfect) outside force. So somehow turning to Philippe gives me some kind of steady outside force against which I can come to my own decision.
I've also used my friend Karen, an artist, someone whose preferences are often similar to mine. Like Philippe, she has a sense of certainty - this or that or the other is right.
Both my parents had a hard time with decisions - and that got passed down.
Somehow instead of learning to listen to myself, I learned to listen to my conflicting selves and ended up bogged down, time after time.
Decision making - always the hard thing for me - so easy to get bogged down.
I remember project after project where things would snarl to a halt as I tried to figure out the best way to say things.
That's part of why I've loved teaching - it's talking - no need to figure out exactly the right way to say anything. The time to talk is now. So I do. And I manage to say things in some imperfect way - but pretty well, actually.
That's what I'm aiming for here as well - to say things well enough.
And to get enough listeners so it's not as if I'm talking to a wall.
It was hard getting teaching.
Now that I have it - have had it, steadily, for over ten years - I've cared to stay good at ti
By the way - my thought with this blog was: it'll be me figuring out what to do, how to do things - which is how I wrote a journal yeas ago. I was stuck, had a dream, didn't know what it meant, what to do, how to take something - and I'd journal write for hours.
Not this time. For the most part, I do - and then I report here,
As always, welcome into my world.
JULY 31, 2006
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